


Disquiet

by Lalaen



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Blind Character, Dissociation, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, M/M, i have no idea what to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 10:54:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalaen/pseuds/Lalaen
Summary: This is not the first time Ignis can't sleep.





	Disquiet

**Author's Note:**

> Though this takes place in canonverse, it's basically a different version of [http://archiveofourown.org/works/9727031](this), and I think my first go is what is more likely to have canonically happened, if you ask me. 
> 
> So here's a different take on that first sexual encounter that no one asked for.

"Can't sleep?"

It wasn't the first time Ignis had heard it. Gladio knew well that when he was under stress - which he always was, wasn't he? - sex settled him down. Gladio had learned that when they were teenagers and Ignis was much worse at sorting himself out. Even as they'd set out on this ill-fated journey, it remained relevant. Ignis would be lying awake, listening to Prompto and Noctis breathe and the crickets outside of the tent. He felt Gladio's lips against the back of his neck, and hot breath; and he knew what was coming before he heard those words. 

"We are not alone," he said under his breath, regardless of how well he would sleep afterwards. It was both uncomfortable and disrespectful to engage in such activities when sharing a tent. At the time he hadn't even known Prompto that well, not really. 

"Not here," Ignis could hear the grin in his voice. Of course Gladio was interested in sex in the great outdoors. That was no surprise. 

"Very well," because he didn't like to go without, and what chances would they get? 

Then it was a game to pull the zipper quietly, even though Noctis slept like the dead. Prompto was a much lighter sleeper. The night air was chilly in just an undershirt and being pressed up against a rock wasn't Ignis' favorite, but he had to say they'd had some pretty scenic fucks. He didn't enjoy it like Gladio did, but it was quite the experience; and admittedly, he did sleep easily afterwards. 

Tonight was different. Part of what kept him up was the nagging discomfort of his injury, not so much a pain anymore that he felt comfortable medicating it. It was hard now not to find the darkness isolating and oppressive, especially when there was nothing else. At least when the others were sleeping it gave him a break from the unbearable tension between Gladio and Noct; though they still slept on opposite edges of the tent. 

It was honestly hard for Ignis to feel like he was anywhere at all when there was no one with a hand on him, and wanting for physical touch was something that horrified him even conceptually. With difficulty, Ignis tried to centre himself - he was facing Gladio, he was quite sure, and he could feel just the slightest chill from where the sleeping bag was partially unzipped at his back. He'd awoken with his heart racing the first night they'd camped because he couldn't move properly in the sleeping bag, and he didn't want to repeat that embarrassment. Prompto had taken the opportunity to curl up right against his back, one hand clinging to his undershirt like a child. It made Ignis uncomfortable that he wasn't bothered by it. As he tried to ground himself, Prompto's warmth against him felt the most real. 

He was silently grateful that the boy was so aggressively affectionate, as it was impossible to make himself ask for something of the like. Gladio was too consumed by his own anger to fuss over Ignis - which he may actually be thankful for, considering how smothering his partner had already been when given the opportunity. 

Regardless, Ignis knew being held in those familiar arms would be a comfort. It was knowledge he hated, and he filed it away with his desire to be able to rely on Noctis while he adjusted to his lack of vision. That would put far too much on his prince's plate. Gladio did not understand that. 

Ignis could feel himself losing his grip on reality again, and forced himself to focus on sound and sensation. There was the worn flannel of the sleeping bag on his exposed skin, barely disguising the hard bite of the ground against his ribs and hip. He could feel where Prompto was touching; between his shoulder blades was the crown of the boy's head, then the length of his forearm, and the knuckles of that one clenched fist. The crickets outside the tent were an almost deafening white noise, broken only by a few dissonant chirps. Noctis' quiet snoring had long been a comfort to Ignis, but now it made his chest ache. 

"Hey, Iggy," Gladio said in a low mutter. "I know you're awake."

Ignis didn't reply, though even he didn't understand his reasoning. When calloused fingertips brushed his cheek, he was too mentally exhausted to pull away as he had from such tender gestures as of late. Gladio gently wiped his thumb from Ignis' tear duct down the side of his nose, cleaning the discharge from the corner of his eye. 

"Gladio," he said under his breath, more than a little reproachful. 

"Let me help you sleep, Iggy."

There was a lot concealed behind those words. Ignis could tell by Gladio's tone that he had a pretty good idea his behaviour as of late was unacceptable, that he wanted to make up for it and didn't know how. That he desperately wanted to help but knew damn well Ignis wanted to be left alone. His protector nature was so incredibly at odds with the advisor's single minded independence that it was a wonder they'd made it this far, honestly. 

"Don't be foolish," Ignis would do anything to stop thinking, stop himself constantly wandering off that precipice of complete dissociation; but his body could not take a hard fuck. Certainly not over a rock in the cold night air. Thinking of it didn't even awaken the usual hunger in him. 

Gladio moved closer, and Ignis could feel warm breath on his cheek. "You seriously need sleep," what Ignis seriously needed was to never hear that parental scolding tone used on him again, and he opened his mouth to say so. "Just let me clear your head."

Already feeling the risk of losing touch again, Ignis nodded. He could absolutely not admit to himself that he also craved closeness with Gladio, especially while he was acting more his usual self. "You will need to guide me out of the tent," he said stiffly, not sure if he could even get away from Prompto. Someone who knew him less well would've just said they should stay here, but Gladio knew he wanted complete privacy for anything sexual - regardless of the factor of respect for the other two. 

"Yeah. C'mere."

Ignis slowly twisted away from Prompto and pushed himself up on his elbow, and Gladio was there to meet him with a hand on his shoulder. The other moved to his waist and gently guided him up. Gladio was actually very good at it when that was his focus, though perhaps that was in part Ignis being able to read him more easily than Prompto. Exiting the tent was a little slow and awkward due to the kingsguard's size, but both of the boys hardly stirred. Noctis was no concern, but Prompto was and the cadence of his breathing didn't even change. He must be exhausted - who could blame him with emotions running so high? The boy was too empathic for his own good, Ignis didn't need his vision to see how much the hostility between Gladio and Noct affected the poor boy. 

The chill of the ground beneath his bare feet brought him a little more into his own head, but he knew there was nothing to touch out here to help guide him. That was something he was still struggling to deal with, though he hid his discomfort. For a moment he felt lost, the hated illogical part of him trying to convince him that there was no ground in front of him, that one step would make him fall into a dark void. Then Gladio's hand slid to rest on the small of his back, and his ability to rationalize rushed back to him. 

The only thing worse than the loss of his vision was how much it made it feel as though he was losing his mind. Ignis was worse than useless now. 

"Iggy," the pain in Gladio's voice said he knew all too well what was going on in his partner's head, and Ignis hated that most of all. He was weak, and they both knew it; despite how hard Gladio tried to act like he didn't think so. "... I don't wanna push you too hard," he filled the silence, and though he certainly didn't mean it he had that pedantic protective tone again. "You're still recovering, you shouldn'tve even come along."

"I know," Ignis said sharply. "I may be stubborn," he was on some level aware that was a criminal understatement, "but I'm not completely insane. I'm in no condition for the sex I would usually want."

It was clear Gladio hadn't expected him to admit it, and he did get some small satisfaction from catching the man off guard. "What do you need from me?" Even in this situation, the way he said it was so perfectly submissive that it lifted Ignis' spirits a bit. He knew also that was unintentional, only a habit from the scenes in which he'd usually ask such a question. A 'Sir' would not be out of place. 

Maybe it was that which made Ignis so uncharacteristically candid with him, desperate for some kind of normalcy. He reached out into the blackness and found the firm plane of Gladio's chest; perhaps not exactly where he'd imagined it landing but close enough. "Do what you can to clear my head and ground me." He sounded almost as tired as he felt. 

"Yeah. Trust me?"

"An asinine question after what I've just asked you," it was more a toneless observation than the snark it'd usually be, but it was all Ignis could manage. 

The lack of response said very clearly that he knew Ignis was right, and that he could ever say such a thing meant they were well past a place of deep trust. Instead, he carefully led Ignis just a little ways from the camp. Being without the cane made it painfully slow going, but Gladio was patient - as well as ready and more than able to catch Ignis' weight if he were to stumble. As unbearable as it was that he needed this amount of help, Ignis was so very thankful Gladio had not so much as suggested carrying him. Not once, even when the wounds were still fresh and no doubt he genuinely shouldn't be walking. 

A strong hand on his waist guided him to turn and then to sit, and even though it was Gladio and he knew without question he wasn't being misled, he still put a hand behind him as he lowered himself down. The rock's gritty surface felt almost painfully cold against his palm, and the chill seeped through the thin fabric of his briefs almost immediately. There was the not inconsiderable rustle of leaves and stones on the forest floor as Gladio shifted position - kneeled, perhaps? - and then the warmth of his large hand was on Ignis' thigh. It served to make him very aware of just how much he'd gotten goosebumps from the temperature.

"So, I can be gentle this once?" Gladio teased, guiding Ignis' legs apart. 

"I don't have much of a choice," his tone was dry but he let his partner position him. In the past, especially during his teen years; being physically close with Gladio could be enough to get him aroused. When Gladio pressed his palm against Ignis' cock through his briefs, rubbing firm circles, there was barely even the tiniest twinge deep in his stomach. It wasn't something that made him especially self conscious, but he did lose some hope that there was any possibility of this working. "I'll sit in your lap," he said, his no nonsense tone an attempt to gain some authority over this situation. He trusted Gladio deeply, it wasn't a matter of that. When he felt his control slipping it made him feel physically ill, and now he was powerless. 

Gladio's response was just his hand moving to put a gentle pressure on Ignis' lower back. The advisor put his own hand out, trying to find his partner's shoulder or chest and praying he didn't look frantic. When his fingertips brushed skin, he came forwards and closed the distance between them. It bothered Ignis how much better he felt once he was straddling Gladio's lap, a familiar and comfortable position for them. It was very grounding to have so many points of contact - Gladio's hands settled on his waist, the man's chest under his palms and a scant few inches between them. He listened to Gladio's breathing, then felt it as his partner leaned close enough to cause their noses to brush against each other. "... can I touch you now?" His tone was playful, but he was genuinely asking permission; submissive to Dominant. 

Ignis nodded incrementally, trying his best to push intrusive thoughts from his mind as Gladio's hand slid down his body and under the band of his briefs. Since he possessed both a cock and a sex drive, it wasn't long before the friction felt good and he was adequately distracted enough to get hard. If they were in a bed, he would tell Gladio that he did want to be fucked slowly and gently for once. It wasn't something that he liked to admit, but even without exercising his sadism or getting pounded until he could hardly breathe; Gladio had a way of getting all of him. The man was nothing if not overwhelming, and that was something Ignis hated and needed in equal measure.

"Hey, stop thinking," Gladio muttered. His hand tightened and Ignis' breath caught just a bit. 

As much as he was trying to act casual and confident, Ignis knew his partner was a little lost in this sitaution. Rightly so - there were a hundred thousand little ways to get under Gladio's skin, to turn him on without touching his cock. Ignis knew that he too had vulnerabilities, but other than anal sex, all of them were violent. Though it was as easy for Gladio to throw him around or choke him as it was to breathe, those activities were out of the question in his state of health. As it was, Ignis had to concentrate or he was fairly sure he'd lose his erection completely. 

"Iggy," Gladio said in a low voice. "Look, when you're better... you can tie me up and ride my cock as long as you want," he was verging on a purr, and it was with something like embarrassment that Ignis realized this was an attempt at dirty talk. Regularly, he would much sooner smack Gladio than tolerate this, but in such less than ideal circumstances, it may actually help. 

Gladio's hand disappeared for a moment, but soon it was clear that was only for him to spit on it. "Or don't tie me up," he muttered, leaning in close to Ignis' cheek to breathe against his ear. "Let me hold you down and fuck you," his hand wrapped around Ignis' cock again, and now he started a much faster pace; like he was masturbating. He knew Ignis' body well enough to do it, how to move and touch just so to get him to climax as fast as possible. Gladio pressed his lips against Ignis' temple, and now with no vision the sensations of the scrape of stubble and hot breath on his skin seemed almost overwhelming. 

"Just tell me what you want, Sir," Gladio growled, and when Ignis' stomach tightened he remembered he did have that one little vulnerability after all. 

"Peace," Ignis muttered, and even he wasn't sure if he meant in his own mind or between his little family or even greater. 

"I'll do my best," Gladio muttered, bemused. Ignis sucked in a breath through his teeth as he came, and didn't try to hide his annoyance when he received a kiss on the forehead. 

"Gladio," Ignis scolded, not at all interested in being patronized. He heard leaves rustling and could only presume the man was wiping his hand. He let his own palms slide up Gladio's chest and gripped his shoulders, wanting to stay grounded. 

"Yeah? No one's watching," he said it casually, as if that should make a difference. He took Ignis firmly by the waist and guided him back before standing with him. 

There was a single stupid, exceedingly weak moment where Ignis considered leaning against his chest. Both barefoot, his head fit neatly under Gladio's chin, and very briefly the idea appealed to him - safe and entirely sheltered from the uncertain void around him by his partner. By his very next breath he was repulsed by the desire, and released Gladio's shoulders almost as though he'd been burned. 

This was likely no surprise to Gladio, but he stayed mercifully quiet about it either way. He'd been with Ignis long enough to know better. 

Neither of them spoke as they made their way slowly back to the tent - Ignis likewise knew better than to apologize when he stumbled. Prompto would bear it, but it made Gladio more angry at the situation. 

Getting into the tent was even more challenging than getting out, and getting back into the damn sleeping bag so much so that it was hard for Ignis not to let himself get frustrated. By the time he was settled, Prompto was stirring and he kicked himself internally for waking the boy up. 

"You okay, Iggy?" Prompto muttered, his voice slurred from sleep. It was a serious blow to Ignis' pride that Prompto had also become so protective of him, but it was sweet nonetheless. 

"Fine. Apologies for waking you," Ignis said stiffly as he felt Gladio's heavy arm around him. 

"Nono, s'okay," the fingers that encircled his wrist were cold. It seemed like Prompto wasn't aware that Gladio was also awake, and the kingsguard wasn't doing anything to alert him. 

By the time Prompto had settled in again, Ignis could sense he was quite close. He'd also twined their fingers together, holding quite firmly to Ignis' hand. He didn't have the heart to pull away. Honestly, it was rather pleasant. 

Between the two of them like this, despite everything, Ignis did feel loved. He pushed aside his desperate desire to have Noctis closer, to say nothing of the visions of the prince that still haunted him. He forced his mind to quiet; focusing only on Gladio's weight against him and Prompto's soft breathing. 

Finally, he could sleep.


End file.
